Miscellaneous Stories
by Fumi-chan
Summary: Ch.3 in a series of one-shots! Tsuna is somehow stuck away from the mansion for Lambo's birthday! How our favorite cow will react?
1. Of lost property box or not

I have often wanted to write stories and all but never really got to the writing part...always stopped at the thinking it up part. But recently I had those ideas in my head that wouldn't go away so I decided to write it out. So here comes the one-shots, well just one for now...-_-' I think those up at work...it helps to deal with the same ennemie as Tsuna...I swear, paperwork is evil!( and it found an ally to! Crappy computer with crappy internet connection...) New stacks just keep on pooping out of nowhere when you fought you had deal with it all and it melts your brain!(After a while, I have to recite the ABC in my head to place the files right...T-T) So if Tsuna appears OOC, just blame it on the paperwork. Seriously.

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Miscellaneous Stories

Of lost property box...or not.

Tsuna stared at the object lying innocently on the coffee table of his office. How could someone forget something like this? Well, he just knew who had left it here and while he couldn't be called an airhead, he was...Better drop this train of thoughts. Not like discussing the matter in his head would make it disappear. Sighting, he took the object in his hands and turned to his desk. The meeting he was at had drag on and now the stack of paper he needed to sort out was daunting him.

« Really, that Byakuran... » muttering this, Tsuna put the item on his desk.

Sitting down, he wondered how the man had ventured in his office without him knowing. And wasn't he at the meeting at the same time as everyone else? Shivering a little, he turned to the window, only for it to be closed...Strange...not so, in fact. A small sight escaping his lips again, he grabbed his pen and a sheet from the pile and began to examine it. Checking everything, he then signed and put the sheet on the side, taking a new one, the cycle repeating itself for a while in the silence of the office.

Halfway through the stack of paperwork, Tsuna decided to take a small break. He felt tired, as he had barely manage to sleep a few hours the night before, as most of its time was used to catch up on his late work. With Lambo's birthday party and all the preparations, he had completely forgot to do it ( - No, I assure you Reborn! It wasn't volontary! - But I didn't say anything, Baka-Tsuna. You did. * sound of gun security being removed* - ...!). Sensing his master's mood, Natsu uttered a small moan from the ring on Tsuna's hand. Looking at it, a tired smile made its way on his face.

« Sorry, Natsu. I have not let you out for some time, right? »

His ring shone for a brief moment and as the light faded, a full grown lion with a mane of orange flame stood before him. Natsu rubbed his head on Tsuna's extended hand, making purring noises all the while. As he scratched Natsu's head through the somehow cold flames, his eyes drifted back to his desk, or more precisely, his doom ( because it will one day be his death, no doubts. Be it directly or indirectly). Resigning himself, Tsuna sat up once again, preparing to finish his paperwork when his eyes fell on the forgotten object next to the un-checked pile. An idea came to his mind as he looked between Natsu and the item on the desk. A childish smile appeared on Tsuna's face as he grabbed it. Turning to Natsu, he said, smile still plastered on :

« You'll help me, right? »

~time skip~

Or more or less fifteen minutes later

Having finished his mission quickly, Gokudera was on his way to his beloved boss office. Juudaime will be so proud of him for returning so fast! Thinking this, he speeded up his steps, passing maids and butlers on his way, answering theirs greetings with nods and smiles ( He was in a good mood, so what!). Arriving to his destination, he threw the door open in his excitement.

- « Juudaime! I, your right-hand man, have retur...! » begun Gokudera, before stopping himself at the sight presented to him.

There stood his boss, a letter opener in hands, on which was skewered...a marshmallow! Marshmallow currently in the process of being grilled over Natsu's mane...Tsuna, startled by the sudden entrance of his storm guardian, just stared for a moment before pointing his grilled sweets towards Gokudera.

- « You want some, Hayato? »

~time skip~

The next day

Walking in the corridors of the mansion, Gokudera thought of the previous day's event. His boss actions were strange...and where did he got the marshmallows?...Wait, scratch that. Juudaime had a meeting with the marshmallow freak yesterday. Safe deduction here. But still...Shaking his head, Gokudera smiled as he remembered Tsuna's last words as he left his office.

_« You want some, Hayato? »_

_« J-Juudaime! What is... » _

_« This? Grilled marshmallows. » _

_« No! I mean, why? N-not that Juudaime needs a reason! » _

_« Uhm...I guess it's...motivation? »_

_ Saying this, Tsuna turned to his desk. Following his glance, Gokudera's eyes fell on the paperwork on the desk. Smiling softly, he sat down on the couch next to Tsuna and took one of the sweets._

_ « So, is this any good? »_

_ A couple marshmallows and some laughing later, Gokudera stood up, saying something about needing to check stuff with Shoichi. As his hand was on the handle, Tsuna spoke up, a bright smile on his face._

_ « Ne, Hayato? Let's do it with everyone, next time. »_

~Meanwhile, in Tsuna's office~

At the sound of knocking, Tsuna lifted his head on time to see the door open and reveal a white haired man with a tattoo under his left eye.

« Hello there, Tsunayoshi-kun~! Long time no see! »

« So yesterday was a long time ago? I didn't know...So what are you doing here? »

« Why are you so grumpy today? Something bad happened? »

« Yes. You. »

« I'm hurt, Tsunayoshi-kun. »

« And I still don't know what you're doing here except annoying me. »

« No fun. Okay, I forgot something here yesterday and I was thinking maybe you had found it. »

« ...But you weren't there yesterday, right? You arrived just on time for the meeting, no? »

The smile that etched on Tsuna's face was somehow sweet yet downright scary. Silence reigned in the room for half a minute before:

« ...I must have left it elsewhere. »

« Yes, you must have. If that's all the door's there...Or the window behind me, it's up to you. »

« You really are no fun today, Tsunayoshi-kun. Well then, until next time~! »

Saying this, Byakuran left the room, waving goodbye. As the door closed and the sound of footsteps became faint, Tsuna opened one of his desk's drawer and took something out. Pooping the marshmallow in his mouth, he said:

« Sweet~ »

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Well, that's it...Hope I didn't make too many errors, english not being my native language (but my favorite, along with italian and japanese! ^-^- ) Don't hesitate to notify me of any error! ( no offense will be taken, quite the contrary. I hate not knowing my errors so) I have more ideas for other one-shots so I'll try writing them ( just don't know wich one first in fact...-_-') Let's hope the humor I inherited from my dad don't pops up too much...most people find it lame...Bye! Oh, and if you're reading this, you must have read the rest so: Thank You! ^-^-

Oh! Is the fact that Byakuran forgets a bag of marshmallows obvious? Tried not to. But well, it's Byakuran. Or the only guy who looks sexy eating marshmallows so...


	2. Eavesdropping plus bad timing no cook?

Honestly, I don't know where this came from but I found the idea funny so, here it is! Hope you'll find it to your taste!( no pun intended...)

Forgot to mention it before but place this 5YL...I thought of this witha 10 year oldLambo so. Age other characters equaly! ^-^-

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Miscellaneous Stories

Chapter two

Eavesdropping + bad timing = ...no more cook!

A peaceful evening at the Vongola mansion...Ahum, a normal evening at the Vongola mansion, the dining room offered to prying eyes a rare sight. For once, all guardians were there at the same time, sitting at the same table! ( Hibari got Tsuna twice, one by saying he had indeed eaten in the same room as everyone else, just a hour later, the other time by having some of their men putting another table in the room for him only, to eat on). But now they were all behaving like adu..pre-adults...meaning no food fight nor fight. Tsuna hoped for this sort of peace to live for some time ( the last dining room restoration bills were still on his desk). Ignoring Mukuro trying to upset Hibari and Hayato telling Takeshi to shut up about...playing baseball with meatballs and forks...? Tsuna turned to Lambo, who was fidgeting on his seat, to his left, while staring at his plate. Smiling at the stir-fried eggplant being poked at, Tsuna used a moment of inattention on Lambo's side ( mostly him getting yelled at by Hayato for trying Takeshi's idea on him) to quickly exchange his brocoli against Lambo's eggplant. Satisfied, he continue eating his share slowly.

When Lambo looked back, he stare at his plate before sneaking glances around. His eyes falling on Tsuna's plate full of eggplant, he smile up to him. Seeing this action, Gokudera snorted.

- So the stupid cow can't even eat eggplant! It's even the same color as your beloved grapes.

- Shut up Ahodera! Eggplant are squisky and tasteless! I just HATE it!

- Maa,maa. Calm down. Everyone has something they hate to eat. Right Tsuna?

_- Bell pepper_...I still hate it, said Tsuna, smiling sheepishly.

- I hate pickles to the EXTREME!

- Hn...Herbivores.

- Kufufufu, so Birdy here doesn't hate anything? Even thought you claim to be a carnivore? You know, veggies are good for your health~ saying this, Mukuro then put illusions of a plate full of vegetables of all sort in front of his fellow cloud guardian.

- I'll bite you to death...

Saying this, Hibari got up from his seat threateningly. A knife then embedded itself in the wall just in front of his face. Turning to the offender, he found Tsuna smiling sweetly at him. Too sweetly in fact. A dangerous aura was pouring out off him. Chrome glared at Mukuro for makin her Boss mad during dinner ( those family moments were very precious to her) before adding her own dislikes.

-Green beans...too fibrous. I find it unpleasant.

- Kufufu, I feel the same for pineapple, Nagi.

This statement was met by silence. A silence they were trying hard not to break, knowing Mukuro's wrath would hit the first to speak up. It was in this silence that Hibari snorted. At Mukuro. And, as an awaited signal, all hell broke loose. Laughther came out from every mouth (except Hibari and Chrome, who was chuckling softly).

- Even thought you resemble it you hate it!

- Well wouldn't it be cannibalism if he did eat it?

- …! Your right!

- ...Urgh! Can't...breathe!...stop it!

But all this went unnoticed by Mukuro, whose eyes were solely on Hibari, piercing holes through his head. A dark aura began to gather aroung him.

- Oya, oya, Birdy, that was rude. Should I offer you some carrots? It is believed to make people pleasant.

At this, strangely sharp carrots began to appear from thin air, all directed towards Hibari. Getting his tonfa and chains out, he dodged and cut down all projectiles. He then went straight to the Mist guardian.

- Fruits should be cut in cubes for salad.

- Chickens are better roasted I see!

Just as they were about to clash, a knock on the door stopped them. A maid entered and bowed to them.

- Decimo, we just found a note from the cook, saying he left.

- Ah? came the unanimous answer.

~ During dinner~

Outside the dining room

Lucio had outdid itself tonight. Being the only cook not on vacation, he went all out to prepare for dinner. He was proud of his work but not wanting to be seen as boastful by the Decimo, he secretly went to the door to hear what was said about the food. As he approched the door, a scream reached his ears.

- I just HATE it!

It was Lambo-sama's voice. Shocked, Lucio put his ear against the door. Just in time to hear Yamamoto say « ...hate to eat. Right Tsuna? » What the Decimo hated his food! Pressing himself again to the door to hear Tsuna's answer, Lucio began to feel despair growing in his guts. « ...hate it. » Was what he heard. Feeling faint, he steaded himself against the wall. They all hated his food? He had fail to please the Decimo? ...Or maybe he was hallucinating! That was it! He was just tired! They all loved it!

- I find it unpleasant,came the quiet voice of Chrome.

At that he ran. He couldn't show his face in the mansion anymore! Leaving a note for the kitchen staff, he then disappeared in the night.

~The next day~

As they had a frugal breakfast due to some, hum, circonstances, they all wanted a good old lunch. For this they took an important decision. To cook for themselves. A thing they had not done in a long time ( for some never in fact). The kitchen was immaculate (the cook flee not the cleaning staff thank god) and knives, frying-pan and spatula were gleaming on the wall.

- Ohoh~ so that's what a kitchen looks like, then said Mukuro taking a knife from its place and making the light play on the blade.

Seeing this, Tsuna kindly asked Mukuro to wait with Ryohei ( they didn't even asked him to cook, fearing the results too much) in the dining room for lunch to be ready. He then turned and saw Chrome begining to gather some ingredients.

- Chrome, you know how to cook?

- Yes. Bianchi-san showed me how.

Turning pale at this he, as well as Gokudera, Lambo and Yamamoto, tried to convice her that she was better help in the dining room stopping Mukuro from doing...well things. Nodding slowly, she exited the kitchen. Sighting, Tsuna was begining to wonder how his mist guardians had manage to survive in Kokuyo Land.

- Don't worry Juudaime! I will cook for you! What flavor do you desire? I can make pork, beef, curry...

- You can make curry? perked up Tsuna.

- But of course! Anything for you Juudaime!

And at that moment, Tsuna understood why Hayato had asked what flavor he wanted. He was talking about instant noddles...

- Hayato, you really don't have to...tried Tsuna.

- Ahahah! Tsuna prefers to eat my sushi! then declared Yamamoto.

And just as he said, before Yamamoto laid loads of delicious-looking fresh sushi. Tsuna smiled thankfully to Yamamoto. Seeing this, Gokudera went on a rampage.

- Why would Juudaime prefer your fishy cooking then mine!

- Ahahah, but instant noddles don't count as cooking, right?

- What? Say it again, you baseball-freak!

- Food fight!

As Lambo said this, a sushi went pass Gokudera's head before meeting the wall and falling messily on the floor. Chaos ensued. Gokudera riposted, and Yamamoto, finding it funny played along. Until...they heard Hibari hissing his unfamous:

- I'll bite you all to death...

Surely enough, a sushi had got him square in the face and, apparently, he hadn't found it funny one bit. Fearing for his (brand new, mind you) kitchen, Tsuna went into boss mode, a dark aura surrounding him.

- Get out. Now. Dining room.

As soon as he had finished talking, the kitchen was empty, except for Hibari, who just said « hn. » before calmly walking out.

- Okay. So now, what's in there, Tsuna said, opening the fridge.

~Later~

In the dining room

- He has been in there for a while now?

- I'm hungry!

- Shut up, stupid cow! Saying it won't make you less hungry so leave our ears alone!

- Maa,maa Hayato. It's normal to say you're hungry when you are right?

- No. Only idiots do.

The bickering stopped with the opening of the door leading to the kitchen. Tsuna then entered the room with a cart on which were plates of...curry. A simple dish, yet very filling.

After putting the plate before everyone, Tsuna sat down at his seat.

- It looks and smell delicious Tsuna!

- As expected of Juudaime!

- Looks wonderful to the EXTREME, Sawada!

- Thank you. It is my and my mom's favorite. We called it the Sawada special.

- Kufufu, you know, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Saying this dressed in an expensive suit really doesn't go well together.

- Well you can continue to chat and all but I'm hungry so, itadakimasu!

Several itadakimasu were heard as answer ( well, a small one for Chrome, a hn for Hibari and nothing from Mukuro). Spoons were raised to mouthes before.

-….!

_Spicy! _was written on most faces. Immediatly, glasses were emptied to calm down burning throats. Staring at their plate a moment they then looked up to Tsuna.

- Um! It's good! Uh? Why aren't you eating?

_It's more like, how can YOU? It's like eating freaking lava!_

- It is delicious, Boss.

_You **too**, Chrome? _

And seeing the expecting face Tsuna was making while looking at then, they thought:

_We're doomed..._

Luckily for them, the vacation the rest of the cooks were on ended the following day. And so, lives were spared...more or less.

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Well, thanks for reading! And sorry if my humor is not of your taste...I get it often so...It's my father's fault not mine. Because apparently crappy humor **is **contagious...or in genes. So see you when I got more (stupid) idea written up!


	3. Of Wishes and Blueberries

Blueberry jam is my favorite. I know it's stupid to say it here but there is a reason. During my vacation I found blueberries on my walk so I picked some and made jam with it! That's what inspired this one-shot. Though at the beginning it was much shorter.

So for the time line it's again 5 years later the canon story. And just so it doesn't confuseyou too much, _italics _is for thoughts, but I don't really say those so it's up to you! Hope it will make you laugh! ( again my humor is kinda weird sometime, not too much this time I hope!)

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Miscellaneous Stories

Chapiter 3

Of Wishes and Blueberries...

Tsuna usually was a calm and patient person. Heck, if he wasn't patient he would have killed his guardians long ago and, well, the calm bit came with time. The Vongola being like, uhum... themselves, the number of odd, weird, dangerous, sometimes completely ridiculous situations he went through helped a lot. Nothing could make him lose his calm anymore...except maybe Kyoya, or Mukurou, or...the rest of his guardians. Let's say they are lucky he loves them. Most of the time. As in, when they are not hell bent on destroying his mansion ( or any other place for that matter) and pilling up those evil paper sheets of doom more commonly called bills. Like he didn't have enough paperwork on his own. Hum...he could secretly cut their pay, or block their bank account for a while...that would be suicidal. Maybe book them in the worst hotel he could find for their next missions...

As Tsuna was thinking of new ways to torture (indirectly mind you) his guardians that would make Reborn proud, he took in the scenery before him. Beautiful green hills extended for miles with for only other inhabitants, apart from the mansion and it's people behind him, a dozen of sheeps and one, no two wild horses. Meaning he was in the middle of nowhere. When he first saw the place, Tsuna had half expected to have to draw water from the well in the courtyard and lit his way with candles at night. Okay, so they had hot water and electricity. But no phone. Because apparently, secret alliance annual meeting meant mansion in wilderness and no phone. Like in a bad horror movie. If zombies suddenly emerged from a secret lab underneath the house he wouldn't be surprised. Nor scared...Unless they were Reborn zombies. Now THAT would be scary. Really scary.

Now you're beginning to wonder « What the hell?! » or « Who are you and what have you done to Juudaime?! ». Remember Tsuna is calm and patient. He has been calm and patient when he arrived and saw the place. He has been calm and patient while greeting the other bosses. He was calm and patient when he was forced to listen to those fuc...ahum...fabulous bosses exchange friendly advices and aguments (… they were fighting like three years olds wanting the same toy...minus childish cuteness) during two days whole. He was calm and patient when he was made to stay for three more days because those..._fabulous_ bosses couldn't find a single common agreement. He was also calm and patient when he left the room and its occupants alive...okay, they were scared shitless but they were fine so yes, calm and patient he was.

So here he was, an aura of calmness surrounding him, looking at the scenery he would be stuck in for three more days...Plus one day of travel, so he wouldn't be home for Lambo's birthday. Tsuna always was home for his guardians birthday. Those willing to celebrate it mainly. The first and last surprise party they threw for Kyoya didn't end...hum...well. The pile of paperwork he got wasn't worth the risk...unless they party in a field with some kind of unbreakable tableware...that's an idea he will look into. Back to topic, Tsuna was not at all angry for not being able to celebrate his youngest guardian birthday. No murder intent were pouring out of his skin. Ah...what beautiful bushes there are here...bushes with tiny blue spots...?...Blueberries!

Smiling happily, Tsuna bent down and began collecting the berries in the handkerchief Reborn always made him store in his pocket for some obscures reasons. He would make it up for missing his birthday to Lambo by keeping at least this promise with him.

~Three days later~

In the Vongola mansion

- Open the door, you stupid cow!

- NO! I will not come down unless Tsuna-nii is here!

- You stupid, fly-attracting, milking animal! Juudaime said he couldn't leave until tonight and the place for the meeting is too far to make it in time! Are you even too much of an idiot to understand that?!

- Maa, down Hayato. Lambo is just upset...then turning to the closed door. But a birthday party without the birthday boy...that can't be... Guess all the food and cakes are going to waste now...

By the end of the sentence, an eye was watching them silently through a partly open door. Takeshi went on and on about how the chiefs had gone all out and prepared all of Lambo's favorites. Or how the gifts were waiting for him in the dining room, in all their ribbon-ly glory. Specially Tsuna's present. He had it sent to Lambo expressly but Lambo didn't want it. Surely Tsuna will be sad when he hears it. But they couldn't force him to come down if he really didn't want to.

As they turned to head to the dining room, the door finally opened. Lambo stared at the ground a moment before passing by them at lightning speed saying:

- The fried chicken is all mine!

Smiling softly after the disappearing figure ( thought it will be strongly denied by a certain storm), Takeshi and Hayato proceeded to follow. As announced, the table was covered by plates and plates of food. Lambo was already piling up all sorts of things on his plate, while I-Pin scolded him for the usual monopolizing. Thought, with the big smile on her face, the effect was grandly disminished. They ate, laughed and drank ( juice for non-legal of course! ) for a while. But when Chrome brought the cake in, they stopped and eyed it suspiciously...because cake decorations aren't suppose to wriggle and wave like real vine, right? And it was purple...

- Bianchi-san helped me make it, said Chrome smiling softly.

_Ah...this explain that...God help us...!_

- Ne, why don't we open the present now and eat the cake later? suddenly exclaim Takeshi in an overly cheerful voice. I'm sure Lambo is impatient!

- Oh, yes! The presents, the presents! saying this, Lambo jumped out of his sit and ran to the table holding the wrapper up goods.

_Nice - Baseball freak/to the EXTREME/Takeshi-nii/Takeshi - !_

After opening all presents (and stopping an hysterical Lambo when Mukurou's was opened), a mysterious little box remained. Looking at it from all sides, no clues were given. As they were discussing the probability of it being a trap and blowing it up would be safer, Reborn reentered the room.

- I leave the room for five minutes and you already want to blow something up?! Plus, that's your boss affection for you you're going to blow up. Tsuna sent this to Lambo for his birthday, said something about a promise...

- Tsuna-nii sent it?

Quickly unwrapping it, the box opened to reveal a small jar of jam and a card. Lambo began to read it aloud.

« To Lambo. First, Happy Birthday! Sorry for not being here. But during a walk I found those so I made you a little jam! I know you wanted a pie but I was afraid it wouldn't like the transport. »

_...Tsuna...you didn't found enough berries, right...?_

« Once again I'm sorry. I swear I will make it up to you! »

There were eraser marks here and the previous words were still slightly visible. « I will make them pay... » was what Tsuna had written first...Luckily, Lambo didn't notice.

_Note to self. Do **not** anger Tsuna when he comes back..._

The end of the letter was Tsuna wishing them all a good day and asking them to be nice to each other...

_...Stop anything from bothering Tsuna when he comes back..._

- So Tsuna made this? said Takeshi looking at the jar. Wonder how it taste like...

- It's mine! Tsuna-nii made it for me! You won't have any! cried Lambo, taking the jar from the box and pressing it against him for protection.

- You stupid cow! You have to share things with others!

The storm guardian then began to run after Lambo trying to take the jar from him. Seeing this, Takeshi sweatdropped and stopped Hayato.

- Hayato...are you seriously trying to steal a ten year old's birthday present...?

- I am not stealing it! I am taking it!

_...That's the same!_

It continued for a while until a certain someone had enough of this. They all calmed down as Reborn switched off his gun security. The party continued ( with the jam safely stocked in Lambo's hair) and they ate the cake after blowing the candles ( a normal one, the previous cake having « mysteriously » disappeared). Laughter could be heard from the dining room until late in the night.

~The next day~

Just as Tsuna opened the door, he was engulfed in a hug by a very happy Lambo. Whishing him a late happy birthday, Tsuna returned the hug. After Lambo thanked him, they stayed like this for a while until...

- Tsuna-nii! I love mango pudding!

- Eh...? was all Tsuna could say as he stared at his youngest guardian.

~Omake~

Another three days later, in Tsuna's office

- Juudaime, the written agreements from the last meeting are already here.

- Oh! Good! Who send it? asked Tsuna without looking up from the paper he was currently working on.

- ...Well...all of them. All the other families already sent it...Can I ask you a question?

- But of course, Hayato! Go ahead.

- What did you do during the meeting...?

At this, Tsuna finally looked up, smiling innoncently.

- You know Hayato, they say sometimes the truth is better left unheard, said Tsuna, still shooting an angel-like smile at him.

- …..

- …..

- …..Would you like some coffee?

- That would be lovely, thank you.

At that, Hayato left the room. As the door closed behind him, he let the shivers he had managed to tune down run through his spine...Yes...never anger Tsuna...

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And voilà! I was kinda anxious 'cause I couldn't find a good ending but I think it turned out good...Again thank you very much for reading! Until next time! (hopefully I will update with less time span between each chapters,just need inspiration!)


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